Wednesday, 1 November 2017


This is my real hair colour on the right, my son is on the left - used in a card design for my business in Cornwall.  Called Coppernob Design.

Someone else has taken the name now.  Just as well, with all the illnesses I've had recently the top of my hair is white and the bottom half is red.

Being a redhead is part of me,  I loved it.  My distinctive hair colour pleased me. Both my sisters and mother and father had black hair. Black Irish from the Spanish who were wrecked on the shores of Ireland after the failed Armada attack.

But I like my Irish grandad am a throwback to the Vikings, another invading force. I have freckles and very white skin, not like the olive skin of my two sisters.

I want it back, not just the colour of my hair but my health. I want to have long red hair and be back in Cornwall where I was happiest, looking out of the bedroom window at the cobalt blue sea.
Oxfordshire is pretty, but it doesn't suit me. I feel I've lost my identity here, and certainly my health.  

I want to shop in Truro for a treat on Saturday, go to the Penlee Gallery on Sunday and look at the exhibits and have a coffee. Perhaps it's just a holiday I need, it's been a very hard year.

We're going to St Ives for New Years Eve.  Looking forward to it. It's always fun. Last time it was with friends and family. Since we moved back to be with everybody for some reason we are now "billy no mates" and spend our time mostly alone.  

Feeling ill and nostalgic today as the year winds to it's close. God 2016 was bad enough but 2017 topped that with cherries on.

For the past six months I have been in hospital, visiting A&Es, at the Doctor, at the specialists, carted off with a minor stroke, just this week already 2 visits for Llabrinthitus a nice new illness foisted on me because I didn't have enough!

Last week only the Hospital, the Doctors, the opticians. Seems never ending.  I feel I have achieved nothing this year apart from keeping alive and I have to thank my Guardian Angels for that - they are amazing.

Even my Sealed Knot adventures have been curtailed. 

I didn't realise how lucky I was until it was all gone, at my best I had a house in Cornwall of my own bought after my divorce, a little motorhome, shared a house in Buckinghamshire with my new husband, had a great job, my Sealed Knot, my family around me, a reasonable amount of health.

Today I sit alone feeling morose, (which is one of the after effects of a stroke), they tell me.
Trying to make sense of it all.

I haven't written much.  No energy.

This is the most I've written for weeks.

Will write again when I feel a bit more cheerful and less sorry for myself.

Monday, 16 October 2017

Mistaken Identity

This is a picture of our new cat Molly, 9 months old.

This is a picture of Amber, 9 years old and now deceased about 8 weeks ago...
Very similar, we did this on purpose, as we hoped it would help Amber's brother Ted
see below - confuse him a bit - stop him grieving so much and waiting by the hedge for him to come back.

 We thought he was playing in the overgrown garden next door, but he wasn't. We found out at the weekend what he was actually doing when one of the neighbours came and accused Molly (sitting in our front window) of eating their cat's food.  Poor Amber was trying to stop the pain in his stomach by "eating out" thinking the pain was caused by hunger.  So all our careful measuring of his special food was in vain.

We explained that Molly was a different cat, younger and female, and did not go out yet. 
I don't think the neighbour was entirely convinced.  

Poor little Molly, she's at last become friends with Ted, see below, and he has a level of toleration of her which was better than we expected.
 Cat politics eh? 


Thursday, 12 October 2017

Another one of those days!

I am supposedly resting.  Woke up feeling better than yesterday when I couldn't actually move. Not like me. I never usually stay in bed till twelve get up eat yoghurt for lunch and go to sleep on the sofa.

So today is apparently better. I have filled in an American Tax form which is a bit of a mission, tidied and cleaned the house, still feel weird, but I put it down to my new tablets.
After dear hubby went back to work today, the man up the road started playing his new drum kit.  He's been doing that all day, and I really can't tell if he's getting better or worse.

The TV aerial packed up, so I went digital, the Now TV box has also packed up. Channel 5 online on the computer only has yesterday's programmes.

I have a headache and toothache that feels like I'm chewing silver paper - a reaction to my new tablets. I bought ingredients to try a new Mary Berry recipe - then lost it somewhere.

I spent yesterday asleep and in the evening we washed our 17th Century pottery that we had not touched from the Sealed Knot Event two weeks ago at Edgehill. It was well sticky, and washing up is not much of a hobby!   I found the jar of blood I'd made and guess 
what ?  It had clotted like the real thing.

Red fruit tea, plum jam and a teaspoon of cocoa powder if you'd care to know - my own invention - and it looked great.  So that, clots and all was poured down the kitchen sink.

Strange thing tho' unpacking the herb lady stuff stressed me out, as if it was a physical reminder of that TIA and the hours spent in Warwick assessment unit wearing 17th Century costume.

I still find myself saying hippopotamus in times of stress - the Doctor told me if I could say it everything was okay.

I hope to be able to drive again in two weeks time after a visit to the hospital for a review.
hippopotamus hippopotamus hippopotamus.  OK I suppose.

So back to tonight - cooking jacket potatoes bacon and mushrooms - simple and filling. I hopefully will find the Mary Berry comfort food recipe tomorrow.

Friday the 13th - it MUST be my lucky day as all the other days of this year haven't been.

Oh well, onwards and upwards.

Have a good weekend everyone.


Tuesday, 3 October 2017


All set up to feed and heal the troops after battle. My Goodwyfe stall was going well, lots of visitors asking questions, smelling the herbs and potions and even my home made blood for the bandages came out perfect.

Then I had a mini stroke, started burbling unable to speak, my face fell on the left side and I was rushed to Warwick A&E.  It was scary and I was unable to take in what was actually happening to me. My husband noticed it immediately and the Sealed Knot medics sent us off with their Sat Nav - an australian guy who said "You have reached your destination, grab your sunnies and don't let the seagulls eat your chips!"

A week of hospital tests visits and scans and I am home again alone. I couldn't write for a week, I felt nothing, was nothing. Just existed in a middle world of eating, sleeping, tests and tablets.

What next?  More hospital visits, Drs Visits in a week or so. What now?  Me trying to be human again.  The only good thing to come out of this was my son came over from Sweden to see me. Pleasurable and frightening in equal measure.  Was he told something I didn't know?

 Although I look okay in the photo - paranoia and panic rages in every little pain or ache imagined or real. I am on two drugs one to slow my heart and one to thin my blood. I have after years of keep fit and dieting no blocked or furred arteries.

But I can't seem to find my way back to me.


Thursday, 14 September 2017

Halloween is on the horizon

The leaves are falling the wind is blowing, the TV is losing it's digital signal - get a hot cup of cocoa, a nice warm rug over your knees and read my Halloween horror stories. There are three that tell a tale of loves lost, loves found, and the evils of messing with magic on Samhain. A time when the most darkest of evils can be released sometimes by accident.  Also includes some funny moments or it wouldn't be me writing,

They link together, tying up mystical knots, a lot of research was done for these books and some of the people in them exist, how strong their powers are I do not want to find out. 

Finally, the last in the series

I am extremely proud of Evil, I have tried to show how the most innocent looking people can be the devil's advocates.  

Read enjoy, pass to your friends - on Amazon Kindle - now.

Monday, 11 September 2017

My books!

Haven't sold a single book in August - but what can you expect ?  It was a really bad month in many ways for me.

Going private to try and sort my hearing out - just hope it doesn't include having an operation. Had blood tests today as I have been coming up in mysterious bruises on my arm. Possibly a re-action to the anti dizzy pills.

So onwards and upwards - massive Edgehill Sealed Knot in two weeks time - so getting ready for that. It's the first time it's a major and it's because it's the 350th anniversary of the battle.  It's only five minutes away from our caravan storage. Taking place at Compton Verney.  

Been looking for houses as well, nothing affordable unfortunately and nothing large or pretty to rent either.

I must get out of this house before something else happens to me. I'm losing myself here.

I 'll miss the garden but not the noisey neighbours who always seem to be drilling, sawing and hammering and smoking horrible cigarettes in their garden so nasty and pungent that it sticks to my laundry when I hang it out.  I have had to stop doing that.

So what do I want?

1) To be well.  Completely - something I haven't had since I was 33.
2) To move to a bigger house with nice neighbours where we can be happy.
3) To have enough money to live on 
4) To write more books and get them published.
5) For my pets to be well and happy - this includes my husband!
6) A holiday

Not so much in the great run of things really. Just to have what I used to have before I moved to Oxfordshire.

Oh well time to stop cribbing about stuff and get on with making it happen.


Thursday, 7 September 2017

I'm so glad August is over!

August for me was like a bad firework night - there were a few bright sparks, but the rest of it was like a dud roman candle - even worse as if it rained all the time.

September I have always liked, even as a child, going to a new term at school. I loved getting all my brand new exercise books and covering them with wallpaper or brown paper. The smell of the ink and polish and the scratchy collars of a new uniform shirt.

Many years later it was for my son, it was always about buying clothes slightly too big to allow him to grow as the term progressed. New shoes, new football boots, new plimsolls, new wellie boots - none of those could be bought bigger, but replaced every three months as he grew out of them.

At work it was the early start of the Autumn schedules, followed by Christmas, and stings (adverts) for the programmes to come, had to be made.  I loved the smell of the electricity in the studios, getting lost in the countless circles of Television Centre, working deep into the night walking through corridors that lit up as you passed by to save energy.

Then there was the September that I married my husband, today 15 years ago in fact. We got married in Sulgrave House, George Washington's ancestral home, but more important to us a 17th Century House still with it's furniture and fittings and resident ghost!

This Anniversary is the first one that we've been apart during the day - we normally go somewhere - usually Lyme Regis or Tregenna Castle, but Andy used all his holidays up looking after me while I was ill.  So he is at work and I'm at home doing paperwork and all the necessaries of life to keep a home going.

Tonight I will cook his favourite, melt in the mouth roast chicken and roast potatoes with green vegetables and we'll have fancy ice cream for dessert.  I bought a film for us to watch Guardians of the Galaxy 2.  So we can snuggle down together and pretend we've got to the weekend!

I wish I wasn't still deaf, I hate it. I can hear some things now in my left ear but my right ear is not working at all.

But this is all small beir when I think of those poor people suffering under Hurricane Irma.
I don't understand why scientists haven't invented something to reverse the pressure in the centre of the storm and dissapate it.  Surely raising the low pressure in the eye would stop
it building into a twister.  Only a theory, I know nothing much about this sort of thing. But if in the 1960s the Russians could seed clouds to make it rain - something could be done to stop these storms growing.

Anyway that's enough for now.  Have a good weekend everybody and look after yourselves and each other.